discovering the shades of our minds


Sharing my thoughts behind artworks I do, inspirations, personal nonsense and silliness. 

The 2nd. : Well, there might be something wrong...

With building my own website came a complicated situation. How to organize my artworks into only a few galleries for ease of use and orientation? Because of amount of various styles, I would need to create some load of sub-pages and galleries which then would end up with only a few works in them. 

 So the "Dark side" and "Bright side" emerged as a simplification of my works. Splitting my artwork with bit unclear measure into two main galleries alongside the tattoo gallery and one dedicated to skulls being all accessible right from homepage. 

 Now I will dissect the dark works a bit more.  Back in 2008 I needed some quality prints of my creations for a small concert/exhibition. Lot of effort for no feedback pretty much, but that's how it goes, had to learn my lesson and be more humble about my qualities, haha. 

 I went to a printing company where I actually worked for couple of months back in 2005 I think, so I knew the guys there. As my former supervisor was printing things for me, he took a look at my works. He saw some more mellow, fantasy style things and then pure dark and morbid ones. So he mentioned that he appreciates my works, but why do I do such a gloomy stuff, he asked. At that point of my life, I was young guy having dilemmas with current society,  culture, state of the world, where I couldn't see myself fitting in neatly. Standard teenage, younger person issues :D. So my response to his question was quite reflecting that. I said, that with what I see around ourselves, world we live in (whatever wars, corruption, injustice etc.).. these artworks are like reflection of how I perceive things, like an outlet of my emotions, my thoughts. His reply to that I remember to a single word. "Well, then there might be something wrong". Meaning with me.

I remember this work was one of those printed, so you can understand why the guy was bit uncertain about my state of mind :D

I remember this work was one of those printed, so you can understand why the guy was bit uncertain about my state of mind :D

I didn't continue in this direction of our chat, I guess I didn't know what to say to him. Even when the negativity, the bad and horrible crap we can see around us is not my direct muse or inspiration for years, I guess it was part of my mental turmoils. My interest in seeing what the hell is going on around us is still there, I do read, watch or listen about current events geopolitics, culture, society etc., and it can be damn depressing. So I will put few more thoughts on this. 

 One can live in a bubble, wear a pink glasses or go down the negative downward spiral. None of these routes is right, for me it is about finding the right control of knowing the bad around us and accepting it and trying to make a happy life for myself and close people in my life if possible and just appreciate the nice things more. True is, now you can flood yourself with the most horrific stuff from around the globe within seconds online. That wasn't here some 20 years ago. Nobody can solve or mentally process all of that anyway. I'm starting to preach too much here :D

  I got quote for you which I heard a while ago and really resonated with me. "Being sane in an insane society, means being insane". So, yeah. True, I think. Whenever I go down that route of reading, watching and listening about how much is the world in a state of mess for too long, I have to regroup and shake up myself. But being completely oblivious to it, desensitised, blind folded is just being in delusion or insanity. 

  Sometimes I have to give myself emotional bitch slap and stop whining. World was always a mess, it was never perfect and never will be, that's how it is. I just need to see more of that good around me. Knowing the bad, accepting it or changing it if I can and live with positive approach.

 I have to say, the former workmate was right. There is something wrong with me :D. If I wouldn't see that I got some inner roller coaster, I would never think I need to improve and organize my head. And that's the positive side of it :) 

The end of emotional and spiritual rant... For now. 


Jan MalyComment